Final hour

Here I am, sitting alone in the airport looking out over the East China Sea. Breathing is just about all I can focus on right now, because as soon as my mind starts to wander I think of all the things I am leaving behind here. I know it will take all my self control to walk onto that plane.

10 weeks. Some days it seems to be a lifetime, other days it seems to be no longer than a deep breath in and out. Right now, all I can think of is that I am so incredibly fortunate. This pain in my heart from leaving is something I'll have to learn how to deal with, but quite frankly it's inspiring to know I was affected so much by my time here. I wouldn't trade this heartache for anything.

My favorite part of every day at the center was small groups. My small group was the bomb.com, not even exaggerating. It broke my heart to try and explain to those kids why I was leaving them, because when you're seven it just doesn't make sense why people you love leave. Hell, at 22 it still doesn't fully make sense. But regardless, I am leaving. And to help them cope I of course relied on the words others have said, because they say it so much better than I do.

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

I think there is something so epic about this quote. Yes, I am leaving. Yes, it hurts. Yes, there are people I don't know how I will survive without. But honestly? I'm so lucky that I found that. We all are. I found a place where I felt accepted and loved. I found a place where I could let people in, as opposed to keeping others the usual arms length away. I will forever remember the place and the people who helped me be a little more open, a little more carefree, a little more like the person I want to be. But I also know that I'll never be without them, not really. I can't describe the kind of relationships you make through this program, because it's impossible to fully describe it to those who haven't experienced it. Basically there are people who I've met that are going to be main players in my life for a long time.  Cari gave me a letter as we said our goodbyes and it reduced me to tears (yes, I actually cried) because it so accurately describes the way I feel at this moment. This girl knows me well.

"An adventurous life does not necessarily mean climbing mountains, swimming with sharks, or jumping off cliffs. It means risking yourself by leaving a little piece of you behind in all those you love along the way."

I am being stretched across the world. I am traveling to Iowa, Florida, and staying here in Okinawa all while I head home to Washington to my family. I am with each one of my kids wherever life takes them, each one of my beautiful camp adventure girls as they change the lives of everyone they meet, all our boys while they defend our country, and the stellar MCT Center staff that put their hearts and souls into those kids every day. I have left pieces of me with all of these people love, and I'm now scattered across the globe. But at the same time I've never felt more whole.

As I sit here, staring off into the East China Sea, I am reminded of a final quote that was given to me as a graduation gift from Liz.

"Travel is the only thing you can buy that makes you richer."

I am leaving here the richest person in the world.

Until next time.
OKI2014