Well, the jungle excursion has come to an end. I saw rhinos, elephants, monkeys, deer, and many birds. There was a canoe ride, a tribal dance, delicious food, and many bumpy truck rides.
I'm not sure why, but this place seemed to highlight the difference between tourism and real Nepali life more so than any other place. After the bus ride from pokhara to chitwan, we were picked up by our hotel in a truck with seats in the bed, which is where we rode. As we bumped along we went through the town which was, like most places in Nepal, very poor. The locals watched us go by with our obscene amounts of luggage in the hotel truck with impassive faces. I couldn't help but feel that they must be disgusted by us. Here we are, viewing their life as a tourist attraction. Taking pictures of their lives, judging and feeling pity for how little they have, while counting the days until we're back in our privileged lives that are so much more comfortable.
And then we turned down a road, went through an iron gate, and entered paradise. This hotel, resort really, was beautiful. There were courtyards, stone walkways, people greeting you with cold drinks and carrying your bags. Now I had just come from trekking through the Himalayas where getting a place with an inside toilet was considered a big win, so this was extra culture shock for me.
It's such a double edged sword. Most of the industry is focused on tourism, yet it sometimes feels like their lives are on display for us to gawk at.
Everyone should have to feel this feeling I have. Everyone should have to look poverty and struggle dead in the face. It's ugly. It's dirty. It's uncomfortable. But it's real. And it's important to acknowledge. I know I will go home with a newfound appreciation for all I have, especially the opportunities.
Saturday, December 6, 2014
Monday, December 1, 2014
The Himalayan trek
I survived the 5 day Himalayan trek.
It was brutal. It was incredible.
Our guide was a Nepali man named Yam, he is 21 years old. He spoke very good English. Our porter was another Nepali man named Subash. He is 20 years old. He spoke very little English. These poor gentleman were responsible for Joy and me for 5 whole days in the Himalayas, and they were amazing.
The first day was easy, mostly just walking through roads and towns that would take us to the trail. It was beautiful. Lots of open land and rolling hills with fields of rice and wheat. We stayed the night at a tea house on the trail. Cramped quarters, squatty potty, and no hot water were constants throughout the majority of the trek. We played cards with Yam, Subash, and other porters that night after dinner just to pass the time. They taught us a Nepali game, we taught them american games. Mostly the card games were an excuse for us to learn some Nepali and get to know the guys. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard.
The second day was brutal. The itinerary specified the day as "steep up, with stairs" but steep up in my world and steep up in the Himalayan world are miles apart. We literally climbed, for 7 hours, rock steps at probably a 70 degree incline. The elevation change that day was at least 2,000 meters (6,000 feet). To put it in even greater perspective, we gained more vertical height in the first two days than you do the first two days of hiking Mt. Rainier. To further the insanity, I decided to make it my personal goal to keep up with the porters. The porters are the guys who carry the packs for groups. They carry up to 80lbs and do the trek in half the time. They are like mountain goats, sure footed and fast. They don't carry water and they rarely stop. Luckily for me, Subash is young and hadn't done this trek before so he didn't go quite as fast as the old seasoned ones, but man; I thought I was gonna die. There was a group of young porters I stuck with and they seemed to get a kick out of the fact that a little American girl was trying to keep up. They spoke little English so the hours were spent in relative silence (usually someone was singing or humming) or chatting in Nepali. They would try to teach me more words in Nepali, but mostly we just smiled and laughed a lot. There was heavy fog as we were trekking through the jungle like forest, which made it feel like we had entered a different world (which I suppose we had in a way). The enormity of the Forest was impressive. That night was freezing. We could easily see our breath in the tea house and the windows were frosting. So we piled on literally every item of clothing possible and used all our handwarmers in the sleeping bags and tried to survive the night. It was long.
The next morning we trekked up Poon hill to watch the sunrise over the Himalayas. It was the most incredible thing I have ever seen. There are no words to describe it. The trek was tough but not as bad as the day before, and we made it to fishtail lodge. I decided to test the "24hr hot shower sign" which was a huge mistake. I ended up in a shed like structure with a bucket filled with ice water and a cup to pour with, while it wasn't more than 40 degrees outside (and inside because insulation and sealed rooms aren't a big thing there). It was invigorating to say the least. One of the most impressive things about the towns (I use the term town generously, it's mostly a handful of buildings) is that they are self sustaining. Growing their own food. building their own houses, everything. I became much more appreciative after I realized that.
The fourth day was pretty much all down hill, which was brutal in its own way. There are no such things as railings or anything on these paths, so the drop offs could be downright terrifying. And of course, I'm still trying to keep up with Subash at this point and internally cursing myself for that personal challenge with every step. Luckily, it stayed clear so the mountains were looming over us the whole way. That night we stayed at a small lodge where we were the only customers. I decided to brave the shower only after both Subash and Yam had showered and swore the water was hot. It was still in a shed like structure. It still smelled like things I didn't want to think about. But man, greatest shower if my life. That night one of the many stray dogs decided to take up guard of our room. He curled up outside our door and barked at anyone (animal or human) who came near. He then escorted us out of town the next morning, once again snarling at any human or animal that came too close to us.
The last day was much like the first, walking the roads through the small towns to get to Naypool, which is where we started. It seemed strange to enter the civilized world after such an intense experience. The concept of cars, towns, and factory made things was altogether foreign.
One of my favorite things about the experience was the sense of community on the trail. You end up hiking around the same people. You take a break and they pass you, vice versa. They may stay at the sane lodge, or be looking at the same table display. You don't know them and likely don't speak the same language, but it becomes a habit to interact with them. You smile, you laugh, you may chat. If nothing else you'll exchange "namaste" which is the traditional Nepali greeting. I never knew any names, but there would be lots of cheering, laughing, and waving whenever passing each other. I also loved the smells. The smell of mountains, wood fires, manure, incense, curry, and sweat all mixed in one was surprisingly appealing. This may not make any sense, but it smelled pure to me. You can't get much more pure and simple than trekking through the Himalayas.
It was brutal. It was incredible.
Our guide was a Nepali man named Yam, he is 21 years old. He spoke very good English. Our porter was another Nepali man named Subash. He is 20 years old. He spoke very little English. These poor gentleman were responsible for Joy and me for 5 whole days in the Himalayas, and they were amazing.
The first day was easy, mostly just walking through roads and towns that would take us to the trail. It was beautiful. Lots of open land and rolling hills with fields of rice and wheat. We stayed the night at a tea house on the trail. Cramped quarters, squatty potty, and no hot water were constants throughout the majority of the trek. We played cards with Yam, Subash, and other porters that night after dinner just to pass the time. They taught us a Nepali game, we taught them american games. Mostly the card games were an excuse for us to learn some Nepali and get to know the guys. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard.
The second day was brutal. The itinerary specified the day as "steep up, with stairs" but steep up in my world and steep up in the Himalayan world are miles apart. We literally climbed, for 7 hours, rock steps at probably a 70 degree incline. The elevation change that day was at least 2,000 meters (6,000 feet). To put it in even greater perspective, we gained more vertical height in the first two days than you do the first two days of hiking Mt. Rainier. To further the insanity, I decided to make it my personal goal to keep up with the porters. The porters are the guys who carry the packs for groups. They carry up to 80lbs and do the trek in half the time. They are like mountain goats, sure footed and fast. They don't carry water and they rarely stop. Luckily for me, Subash is young and hadn't done this trek before so he didn't go quite as fast as the old seasoned ones, but man; I thought I was gonna die. There was a group of young porters I stuck with and they seemed to get a kick out of the fact that a little American girl was trying to keep up. They spoke little English so the hours were spent in relative silence (usually someone was singing or humming) or chatting in Nepali. They would try to teach me more words in Nepali, but mostly we just smiled and laughed a lot. There was heavy fog as we were trekking through the jungle like forest, which made it feel like we had entered a different world (which I suppose we had in a way). The enormity of the Forest was impressive. That night was freezing. We could easily see our breath in the tea house and the windows were frosting. So we piled on literally every item of clothing possible and used all our handwarmers in the sleeping bags and tried to survive the night. It was long.
The next morning we trekked up Poon hill to watch the sunrise over the Himalayas. It was the most incredible thing I have ever seen. There are no words to describe it. The trek was tough but not as bad as the day before, and we made it to fishtail lodge. I decided to test the "24hr hot shower sign" which was a huge mistake. I ended up in a shed like structure with a bucket filled with ice water and a cup to pour with, while it wasn't more than 40 degrees outside (and inside because insulation and sealed rooms aren't a big thing there). It was invigorating to say the least. One of the most impressive things about the towns (I use the term town generously, it's mostly a handful of buildings) is that they are self sustaining. Growing their own food. building their own houses, everything. I became much more appreciative after I realized that.
The fourth day was pretty much all down hill, which was brutal in its own way. There are no such things as railings or anything on these paths, so the drop offs could be downright terrifying. And of course, I'm still trying to keep up with Subash at this point and internally cursing myself for that personal challenge with every step. Luckily, it stayed clear so the mountains were looming over us the whole way. That night we stayed at a small lodge where we were the only customers. I decided to brave the shower only after both Subash and Yam had showered and swore the water was hot. It was still in a shed like structure. It still smelled like things I didn't want to think about. But man, greatest shower if my life. That night one of the many stray dogs decided to take up guard of our room. He curled up outside our door and barked at anyone (animal or human) who came near. He then escorted us out of town the next morning, once again snarling at any human or animal that came too close to us.
The last day was much like the first, walking the roads through the small towns to get to Naypool, which is where we started. It seemed strange to enter the civilized world after such an intense experience. The concept of cars, towns, and factory made things was altogether foreign.
One of my favorite things about the experience was the sense of community on the trail. You end up hiking around the same people. You take a break and they pass you, vice versa. They may stay at the sane lodge, or be looking at the same table display. You don't know them and likely don't speak the same language, but it becomes a habit to interact with them. You smile, you laugh, you may chat. If nothing else you'll exchange "namaste" which is the traditional Nepali greeting. I never knew any names, but there would be lots of cheering, laughing, and waving whenever passing each other. I also loved the smells. The smell of mountains, wood fires, manure, incense, curry, and sweat all mixed in one was surprisingly appealing. This may not make any sense, but it smelled pure to me. You can't get much more pure and simple than trekking through the Himalayas.
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Day 2 & 3: Pokhara
Yesterday we got on a tourist bus to go to pokhara with our guide for the trek. We spent 6 hours tearing along the countryside, getting dangerously close to the ledge and other cars, all while being tossed around in the bus like rag dolls because of the extremely rough uneven roads. Like I said before, the roads in Nepal are petrifying and the drivers are worse. I can't even count the amount of times I had to close my eyes and brace myself because I was sure we would have a head on collision or go tumbling down the cliffs.
As jarring as the bus ride was, I really enjoyed it. The country is beautiful. So is Pokhara, well parts anyway. The amount of people living in what I consider poverty, although they probably gave a different opinion, is heartbreaking. But surprisingly there are few beggars. I've only seen one beggar and she was an old woman, I've seen no children begging. There is the "slums" of course, but down by the lake this city is stunning. It's much much calmer than Kathmandu which is more my style. They say on clear days you can see the Himalayas from the town - but we haven't had a day without haze yet. We spent the afternoon wandering the city, doing some serious damage to our wallets, then we ate down by the lake. The calm before the storm I guess.
Today we start our trek on the Annapurna circuit. I'm going to guess there's no internet at the tea houses where we will stay - so don't panic if you don't hear from me for the next 6 days. I will take many photos to share later.
Wish me luck!!
Also in honor of apple cup, GO COUGS!!!!!!!!! I have a flag with me that will be waving proud in honor of coug nation. once a coug, always a coug!!
As jarring as the bus ride was, I really enjoyed it. The country is beautiful. So is Pokhara, well parts anyway. The amount of people living in what I consider poverty, although they probably gave a different opinion, is heartbreaking. But surprisingly there are few beggars. I've only seen one beggar and she was an old woman, I've seen no children begging. There is the "slums" of course, but down by the lake this city is stunning. It's much much calmer than Kathmandu which is more my style. They say on clear days you can see the Himalayas from the town - but we haven't had a day without haze yet. We spent the afternoon wandering the city, doing some serious damage to our wallets, then we ate down by the lake. The calm before the storm I guess.
Today we start our trek on the Annapurna circuit. I'm going to guess there's no internet at the tea houses where we will stay - so don't panic if you don't hear from me for the next 6 days. I will take many photos to share later.
Wish me luck!!
Also in honor of apple cup, GO COUGS!!!!!!!!! I have a flag with me that will be waving proud in honor of coug nation. once a coug, always a coug!!
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Day 1: the city of Kathmandu
Day 1 complete, well sort of.
So after we went through customs and got our visas, we left the airport and prayed that someone would be there waiting for us - thankfully there was. There was also a pile of people trying to take our bags and help us to the car in order to get tips. It was a little overwhelming. I realized just how different this trip would be from oki since I was no longer a contractor for the military. I dont have American contacts here, and I am not staying safely on a base. I am at the mercy of the locals.
Kathmandu is one of the most chaotic places I've been. It's sensory overload. The smell of incense, curry, marigolds, trash, and unwashed bodies all mixed, the noises of the people and animals and cars making themselves known to the world, the narrow and towering streets where every item can be found, it's all magnified. At first there seemed to be no rhythm to the madness. There are obscene amounts if people in the streets while cars, motorcycles and bikes lay on horns and weave in and out. I'm not kidding when I say that cars will tear by a foot next to you, you'll be walking, hear a honk, turn around, and have to leap out of the way of a moped. The more time I was on the streets today the better I was able see the rhythm. The natural order of things. I've only been here a day so I'm not in sync yet but I'm trying. If I survive the streets of Kathmandu it will be a miracle.
We had breakfast in the hotel. Joy had only bread (surprise) but I had some curried veggie stuff and more bread. I guess it's the traditional breakfast? It was good! Then we went to our yoga class. I was really looking forward to this, thinking it was a Nepalese yoga class. It wasn't. It was all Caucasian people and the class was mostly just stretching. My arms are still sore from downward dog (what's new) so it was still beneficial.
Next we had a tour of the city. The travel agency we went through has been stellar so far. The same driver that picked us up from the airport came again with a new guide. He took us to the monkey temple which has temples for both Buddhism and Hinduism. Our guide was amazing. He knew everything about every place. We then went to the temple like place Kathmandu was named after, to the "hippie square", the palace, and to freak street. It was absolutely information overload. With the mix of Buddhism, Hinduism, the dynasty that only ended in 2001, the rituals are elaborate and the history rich. It was hard to follow but snaking to learn so much. After that he walked us back to our hotel. It's amazing he knew where to go. All the streets are the same chaos, there are no street signs, I was amazed he kept his sense of direction. If you ever visit Kathmandu, get a guide to show you the city. You see and learn so much more.
The rest of the afternoon was uneventful. We got an early dinner and then went back to the hotel as the jet lag was rearing its ugly head. Our hotel is small but clean. We have running hot water which is amazing. The walls are thin, just now I can hear a woman retching, the hotel employees chatting, the madness that is still taking place outside, and the forever honking of horns. They might as well all be in our room. But honestly? I like the sounds of the city. It's a vital characteristic of this place, and it's growing on me.
So after we went through customs and got our visas, we left the airport and prayed that someone would be there waiting for us - thankfully there was. There was also a pile of people trying to take our bags and help us to the car in order to get tips. It was a little overwhelming. I realized just how different this trip would be from oki since I was no longer a contractor for the military. I dont have American contacts here, and I am not staying safely on a base. I am at the mercy of the locals.
Kathmandu is one of the most chaotic places I've been. It's sensory overload. The smell of incense, curry, marigolds, trash, and unwashed bodies all mixed, the noises of the people and animals and cars making themselves known to the world, the narrow and towering streets where every item can be found, it's all magnified. At first there seemed to be no rhythm to the madness. There are obscene amounts if people in the streets while cars, motorcycles and bikes lay on horns and weave in and out. I'm not kidding when I say that cars will tear by a foot next to you, you'll be walking, hear a honk, turn around, and have to leap out of the way of a moped. The more time I was on the streets today the better I was able see the rhythm. The natural order of things. I've only been here a day so I'm not in sync yet but I'm trying. If I survive the streets of Kathmandu it will be a miracle.
We had breakfast in the hotel. Joy had only bread (surprise) but I had some curried veggie stuff and more bread. I guess it's the traditional breakfast? It was good! Then we went to our yoga class. I was really looking forward to this, thinking it was a Nepalese yoga class. It wasn't. It was all Caucasian people and the class was mostly just stretching. My arms are still sore from downward dog (what's new) so it was still beneficial.
Next we had a tour of the city. The travel agency we went through has been stellar so far. The same driver that picked us up from the airport came again with a new guide. He took us to the monkey temple which has temples for both Buddhism and Hinduism. Our guide was amazing. He knew everything about every place. We then went to the temple like place Kathmandu was named after, to the "hippie square", the palace, and to freak street. It was absolutely information overload. With the mix of Buddhism, Hinduism, the dynasty that only ended in 2001, the rituals are elaborate and the history rich. It was hard to follow but snaking to learn so much. After that he walked us back to our hotel. It's amazing he knew where to go. All the streets are the same chaos, there are no street signs, I was amazed he kept his sense of direction. If you ever visit Kathmandu, get a guide to show you the city. You see and learn so much more.
The rest of the afternoon was uneventful. We got an early dinner and then went back to the hotel as the jet lag was rearing its ugly head. Our hotel is small but clean. We have running hot water which is amazing. The walls are thin, just now I can hear a woman retching, the hotel employees chatting, the madness that is still taking place outside, and the forever honking of horns. They might as well all be in our room. But honestly? I like the sounds of the city. It's a vital characteristic of this place, and it's growing on me.
The travel experience
LA to HONG KONG
So I'm sitting on the plane to Hong Kong and the excitement is building slowly but surely. You'd think I'd have gotten excited before this but for some reason it just didn't really feel real. Sitting on the runway, having the airplane doors close, this now feels real.
I can't help but draw comparisons between the last time I sat on a plane to travel halfway around the world. I remember sitting there with waves of emotion coursing through me. Three months is a long time, japan is far away, and I'd never traveled internationally by myself. Truth be told, I was petrified. The emotional turmoil of that trip will probably be etched on my soul forever. This pales by comparison. I spilled coffee on myself and lost my boarding pass all before 8am, but there was still minimal stress. It was no big deal. Maybe it's because this isn't my first time traveling abroad, maybe because it's less time away, or maybe because I'm not traveling alone, regardless this is a much less emotional travel experience.
One thing that hasn't changed, and I hope never will, is this mounting excitement as the plane takes off. The endless stream of thoughts of all the possibilities, the practically physical need for adventure. How often in life are you truly excited? Like heart beating out if your chest, sweaty palms, jitters, no possibility of sleep kind of excited. How many times do you dive into the unknown? I'm starting to realize this my favorite place to live in, at the edge of the cliff rocking back on your heels about to jump. There's that moment where you're committed, there's no turning back, yet you still haven't seen over the edge of the cliff. You have no idea what's waiting for you. There's endless possibly in that moment.
I believe I'm addicted. Not to alcohol or drugs or tanning or Netflix (okay maybe Netflix), but to this excitement of the unknown. This expectation of what's to come. It has to be the best natural high there is.
Plus our flight is empty so I have the WHOLE ROW to myself. It's all about the little things.
HONG KONG TO DHAKA INDIA
If I'm calculating correctly, we are on hour 25 of travel? But I'm not 100%. We are currently in India - surprise!! Just at the the airport though, apparently we had a layover in Dhaka that we weren't aware of...so the airport count is up to six I think? This layover is such a tease because a) I thought we were arriving in Nepal like three hours early which would have been stellar and b) the place I want to explore most in the world is India. We didn't even fly in during daylight so I couldn't see anything!! That's just cruel. I'll just have to come back.... Also, this is the LOUDEST flight I've ever been on. Everyone seems to be yelling. Or I'm going stir crazy. Which is a very real possibility.
The man sitting next to me was coming home to India from LA to visit his mom he hasn't seen in years and we started chatting. He told me the story of how he met his wife - which is one of those stories in movies or books that I refuse to admit I've seen or read. They are both from India but different cities. They went to the same masters program in the states (somewhere on the east coast for therapy programs-she's a speech therapist), but he was a few years ahead of her so they never met. They both ended up moving to LA and a few years later and met as he picked up one of his friends from a conference. Somehow they led parallel lives, as if fate was determined they meet. He shared some gum (that was probably for his benefit as well as mine), made bad jokes about the food and wished me well on my trip. He seemed to be very kind. I love meeting kind people.
Side note: airplane food is Joy's worst nightmare. They served curry..... I thought she might actually parachute out of the plane for a moment.
So I'm sitting on the plane to Hong Kong and the excitement is building slowly but surely. You'd think I'd have gotten excited before this but for some reason it just didn't really feel real. Sitting on the runway, having the airplane doors close, this now feels real.
I can't help but draw comparisons between the last time I sat on a plane to travel halfway around the world. I remember sitting there with waves of emotion coursing through me. Three months is a long time, japan is far away, and I'd never traveled internationally by myself. Truth be told, I was petrified. The emotional turmoil of that trip will probably be etched on my soul forever. This pales by comparison. I spilled coffee on myself and lost my boarding pass all before 8am, but there was still minimal stress. It was no big deal. Maybe it's because this isn't my first time traveling abroad, maybe because it's less time away, or maybe because I'm not traveling alone, regardless this is a much less emotional travel experience.
One thing that hasn't changed, and I hope never will, is this mounting excitement as the plane takes off. The endless stream of thoughts of all the possibilities, the practically physical need for adventure. How often in life are you truly excited? Like heart beating out if your chest, sweaty palms, jitters, no possibility of sleep kind of excited. How many times do you dive into the unknown? I'm starting to realize this my favorite place to live in, at the edge of the cliff rocking back on your heels about to jump. There's that moment where you're committed, there's no turning back, yet you still haven't seen over the edge of the cliff. You have no idea what's waiting for you. There's endless possibly in that moment.
I believe I'm addicted. Not to alcohol or drugs or tanning or Netflix (okay maybe Netflix), but to this excitement of the unknown. This expectation of what's to come. It has to be the best natural high there is.
Plus our flight is empty so I have the WHOLE ROW to myself. It's all about the little things.
HONG KONG TO DHAKA INDIA
If I'm calculating correctly, we are on hour 25 of travel? But I'm not 100%. We are currently in India - surprise!! Just at the the airport though, apparently we had a layover in Dhaka that we weren't aware of...so the airport count is up to six I think? This layover is such a tease because a) I thought we were arriving in Nepal like three hours early which would have been stellar and b) the place I want to explore most in the world is India. We didn't even fly in during daylight so I couldn't see anything!! That's just cruel. I'll just have to come back.... Also, this is the LOUDEST flight I've ever been on. Everyone seems to be yelling. Or I'm going stir crazy. Which is a very real possibility.
The man sitting next to me was coming home to India from LA to visit his mom he hasn't seen in years and we started chatting. He told me the story of how he met his wife - which is one of those stories in movies or books that I refuse to admit I've seen or read. They are both from India but different cities. They went to the same masters program in the states (somewhere on the east coast for therapy programs-she's a speech therapist), but he was a few years ahead of her so they never met. They both ended up moving to LA and a few years later and met as he picked up one of his friends from a conference. Somehow they led parallel lives, as if fate was determined they meet. He shared some gum (that was probably for his benefit as well as mine), made bad jokes about the food and wished me well on my trip. He seemed to be very kind. I love meeting kind people.
Side note: airplane food is Joy's worst nightmare. They served curry..... I thought she might actually parachute out of the plane for a moment.
Thursday, November 20, 2014
A nomad I will remain for life, in love with distant and uncharted places
But the logical way to prepare for DPT school is by taking a casual trek through Nepal....right??
It seems to be a common theme of my life to hop on planes with absolutely no idea what I'm getting myself into, and I sincerely hope this life trend continues.
When I was buying my hiking boots the man helping me asked about my trekking experience. I informed him this was my maiden voyage. He seemed shocked and a little scornful when he replied "why are you going to Nepal then?" Clearly he's never met me. Why am I going to Nepal? Because I want to. Because I want to push my boundaries. Because I've been back in the states for three months and I've become entirely too comfortable. Time to shake things up again.
There was no way I could turn this trip down.
As it was on my last trip, I'll try to update this blog with adventure details but I have no idea what the internet situation is like. My goal is to have no time to blog anyway, I'll be in Nepal man!!
Much love!
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Final hour
Here I am, sitting alone in the airport looking out over the East China Sea. Breathing is just about all I can focus on right now, because as soon as my mind starts to wander I think of all the things I am leaving behind here. I know it will take all my self control to walk onto that plane.
10 weeks. Some days it seems to be a lifetime, other days it seems to be no longer than a deep breath in and out. Right now, all I can think of is that I am so incredibly fortunate. This pain in my heart from leaving is something I'll have to learn how to deal with, but quite frankly it's inspiring to know I was affected so much by my time here. I wouldn't trade this heartache for anything.
My favorite part of every day at the center was small groups. My small group was the bomb.com, not even exaggerating. It broke my heart to try and explain to those kids why I was leaving them, because when you're seven it just doesn't make sense why people you love leave. Hell, at 22 it still doesn't fully make sense. But regardless, I am leaving. And to help them cope I of course relied on the words others have said, because they say it so much better than I do.
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
I think there is something so epic about this quote. Yes, I am leaving. Yes, it hurts. Yes, there are people I don't know how I will survive without. But honestly? I'm so lucky that I found that. We all are. I found a place where I felt accepted and loved. I found a place where I could let people in, as opposed to keeping others the usual arms length away. I will forever remember the place and the people who helped me be a little more open, a little more carefree, a little more like the person I want to be. But I also know that I'll never be without them, not really. I can't describe the kind of relationships you make through this program, because it's impossible to fully describe it to those who haven't experienced it. Basically there are people who I've met that are going to be main players in my life for a long time. Cari gave me a letter as we said our goodbyes and it reduced me to tears (yes, I actually cried) because it so accurately describes the way I feel at this moment. This girl knows me well.
"An adventurous life does not necessarily mean climbing mountains, swimming with sharks, or jumping off cliffs. It means risking yourself by leaving a little piece of you behind in all those you love along the way."
I am being stretched across the world. I am traveling to Iowa, Florida, and staying here in Okinawa all while I head home to Washington to my family. I am with each one of my kids wherever life takes them, each one of my beautiful camp adventure girls as they change the lives of everyone they meet, all our boys while they defend our country, and the stellar MCT Center staff that put their hearts and souls into those kids every day. I have left pieces of me with all of these people love, and I'm now scattered across the globe. But at the same time I've never felt more whole.
As I sit here, staring off into the East China Sea, I am reminded of a final quote that was given to me as a graduation gift from Liz.
"Travel is the only thing you can buy that makes you richer."
I am leaving here the richest person in the world.
Until next time.
OKI2014
10 weeks. Some days it seems to be a lifetime, other days it seems to be no longer than a deep breath in and out. Right now, all I can think of is that I am so incredibly fortunate. This pain in my heart from leaving is something I'll have to learn how to deal with, but quite frankly it's inspiring to know I was affected so much by my time here. I wouldn't trade this heartache for anything.
My favorite part of every day at the center was small groups. My small group was the bomb.com, not even exaggerating. It broke my heart to try and explain to those kids why I was leaving them, because when you're seven it just doesn't make sense why people you love leave. Hell, at 22 it still doesn't fully make sense. But regardless, I am leaving. And to help them cope I of course relied on the words others have said, because they say it so much better than I do.
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
I think there is something so epic about this quote. Yes, I am leaving. Yes, it hurts. Yes, there are people I don't know how I will survive without. But honestly? I'm so lucky that I found that. We all are. I found a place where I felt accepted and loved. I found a place where I could let people in, as opposed to keeping others the usual arms length away. I will forever remember the place and the people who helped me be a little more open, a little more carefree, a little more like the person I want to be. But I also know that I'll never be without them, not really. I can't describe the kind of relationships you make through this program, because it's impossible to fully describe it to those who haven't experienced it. Basically there are people who I've met that are going to be main players in my life for a long time. Cari gave me a letter as we said our goodbyes and it reduced me to tears (yes, I actually cried) because it so accurately describes the way I feel at this moment. This girl knows me well.
"An adventurous life does not necessarily mean climbing mountains, swimming with sharks, or jumping off cliffs. It means risking yourself by leaving a little piece of you behind in all those you love along the way."
I am being stretched across the world. I am traveling to Iowa, Florida, and staying here in Okinawa all while I head home to Washington to my family. I am with each one of my kids wherever life takes them, each one of my beautiful camp adventure girls as they change the lives of everyone they meet, all our boys while they defend our country, and the stellar MCT Center staff that put their hearts and souls into those kids every day. I have left pieces of me with all of these people love, and I'm now scattered across the globe. But at the same time I've never felt more whole.
As I sit here, staring off into the East China Sea, I am reminded of a final quote that was given to me as a graduation gift from Liz.
"Travel is the only thing you can buy that makes you richer."
I am leaving here the richest person in the world.
Until next time.
OKI2014
Thursday, August 7, 2014
The people who make my world go round
With the end of this surreal summer fast approaching, I keep wondering what is is about these people that causes my heart to hurt every time in think about leaving them. It's hard to describe these friendships in words, simply because there aren't words. We just simply 'are' and it's sublime.
The bitchachos
These people make my world go round, and it seemed only fitting to introduce them to the World Wide Web. :)
Samuel:
She turns every moment into a beautifully awkward situation, which is my FAVORITE. The first time I met her, she almost started crying because she kept stepping on snails walking to dinner and saying "I'm a snail killer, I'm a murderer!!!" and then sprinted down the street chanting "they're rocks they're rocks...." whenever she felt that crunch. And then at dinner we bonded over our weird love of cats. Friends for life, obviously. She also comes and makes me coffee in bed on weekends, we make inappropriate comments about our massive boobs all the time, and I can always count on her to to laugh at my awkward and insensitive jokes. She also is a phenomenal artist even though she'll never admit it.
Meeeeeegan:
whatever plan we make and whenever we make it, she's in. 100%. Once again, she catches all my dry sarcasm and can toss it right back. She is the most unhealthy nutritionist I've ever met in my life, which is okay cause we are quitting school and opening up a beach bar anyway. I knew she would be one of my favorite people ever when we were on this massive bluff staring out into the abyss that is the East China Sea, and she jumped off the ledge without really knowing what was below. I remember thinking that I wanted to live my life more like that; no fear. Her favorite phrase is "life is weird" which has become the motto of our summer. She has the most free personality I've ever met, she does what she wants when she wants to and makes no apologies for it. I think it's beautiful.
Court court:
she is by far our mother bear, the glue that holds us together. she is the one always making plans, taking care of us, and dealing with the stress of our epically dysfunctional crew. But she is probably the most genuinely kind person I've ever met. She is so completely unselfish, she is always focused on how everyone else is before herself. She also has the best belly laugh out of anyone I know, it is our goal every moment of every day to get Courtney to do her "real laugh." She found a pretty stellar guy this summer, and I don't know anyone more deserving of it. She is also the best scuba buddy evaa, thanks for not letting me die 60 ft deep in the ocean!
Car Bear:
We have strangely parallel lives, and she's like the little sister I never had. I've never gotten so close with someone so quickly, and our conversations go from silly and ridiculous to supah deep in a split second, and it's not strange at all. She is one of the most beautiful people, inside and out, that I know. She has this goodness about her that is so refreshing, she is truly kind to everyone and makes an effort with everyone she meets. She laughs at all my snide comments which aren't very funny but she makes me feel less lame by laughing at them anyway, she's a keeper. We knew we would be fast friends when we were in all in the van one of our first days and one of the women we work with states that their have been missiles pointed at Okinawa multiple times. Of course I make a smartass comment resembling "so is this like a casual occurrence? can you like ratio me how often this happens?" I was not given a response. as I get out of the van I said "so about that bomb she just dropped on us...." and cari responds "but literally...." I decided then and there that she was pretty rad.
Ms. Butta:
This sassy young this is a main player in the bitchacho crew as well as the MCT crew, which you'll read about below. But this lady has been my rock and my sanity every single day for these past 10 weeks. She and I have so many inside jokes I can't even begin to describe them, and we are at that level where we can literally have full on conversations just by looking at each other. She's never really had a close white friend and I've never really had a close african american friend, so we say things like "oooh can I touch your hair?" and "omg can I poke your sunburn to see it change color?" it's a very educational friendship. She and I have very similar responses to situations, which means I can always count on her to understand what's going through my mind at any given point. She is hands down the strongest person I've ever met. She knows exactly who she is. She has maturity that I rarely see in anyone, let alone a 20 year old. P.S, don't ever try to steal her food. Trust me on this.
MCT crew: teamwork makes the dream work
We've had to jump through a lot of hoops this summer, but I couldn't have asked for a better women to go through it all with. Each woman has such passion for what we do, the kids we work with, and making this summer unforgettable. These girls are the best counselors, and people, you'll ever find. Camp A, you found some real gems when you hired these ladies.
(Ms. Butta's bio is above if you missed it)
Lady and Dragon:
I am writing about these two together because that's how they are, two peas in a pod. Working with them has been so amazing and I've seen both of them grow so much. They are always making me smile and laugh, and that turns my day around every time. The way they patience and enthusiasm they have for the kids is inspiring. I've seen morgan grow more than anyone else here in the past 10 weeks, and I'm so proud of her. She's been through so many life changes, and I've seen her take them all in stride and let them turn her into a better person. She is stronger, more confident, and more free than when she came. Hanna has a way of making everyone around her smile, all while having the confidence to handle anything life throws at her. She has an extremely no nonsense personality, all while knowing how to enjoy life. Those two are destined for great things.
So basically....
It's amazing to me that I've found such an amazing group of people halfway around the world. I've never really given fate much thought, but I genuinely believe we were all brought here for a reason. I'm leaving here better than I was when I got here. I am kinder, I am stronger, I am more open, and I am freer. I laugh more, I am more confident, and I am more accepting. Basically, I'm more comfortable in my own skin. By these people loving my awkward, sarcastic, yet enthusiastic self, I learned to accept myself a little more too. There are so many things I admire in each person and I try to emulate in my own life. Each person has such a beautiful soul, and they have no idea just how great they are. Even though we are epically dysfunctional basically all the time, it's the collision of awesomeness is something that I can't ever forget.
Monday, August 4, 2014
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Moments that last a lifetime
Everyone has those moments that snap their world back into focus. That moment that cuts you down to your core to see exactly what you're made of, and you come out the other side not quite the same as before. Your world is slightly askew, or maybe just readjusted back to where it should have been all along.
This weekend I went to Naha, the Capitol of Okinawa, with a bunch of good friends. We got a hotel and it was about to be the perfect getaway. We left our room on the 12th floor to head out for the night. The elevators, like everything else, are smaller than America so only half of us went down on the first elevator, about four of us waited for the next one. Now we are a little rambunctious, so when I heard pounding and screaming from the elevator, I thought my friends were just messing around. The next elevator opens and in it is an unclothed Japanese woman with her unclothed child, both soaking wet. The woman was screaming in Japanese and her child wasn't moving. Before I could even comprehend what I had seen, the elevator closed. Rather than waiting for the next elevator we tried to find stairs because I was going to run down to meet them at the bottom, I thought I was going to have to do CPR on this baby. There were no stairs so we just had to wait. In the elevator it was dead silent and my good friend, who knew what I went to school for, looked at me and said "you got this?" I could barely nod. That was the longest elevator ride of my life.We ran out of the elevator and I immediately ran up to the counter and said "medical." The man didn't know English but I must have looked like I knew what I was doing because he ushered me back. I ran into the room and the mother simply handed me her child while in hysterics. Can I just comment that there is nothing more terrifying to be handed someone else's child to save?
The child was breathing, but not well, and his eyes were glazing over. He had an extremely high fever and I couldn't get him to respond to me. The mother spoke no English, but the hotel manager was able to translate some. I was able to find out through charades that he had been in the shower when he started seizing. She said he'd been seizing for five minutes. The manager called 911, so there wasn't much for me to do except to calm down the mom so she could keep the child engaged and I could make sure the child's condition didn't deteriorate. at one point he started to close his eyes and his breathing slowed, I swear my heart dropped into my stomach. There was no way I was letting this kid go out on me.
The ambulance came, and I walked the mother and child out to it. And that was it. They got in the ambulance and it left. I just stood their numb. In my head I knew there was nothing else I could have done for them. I knew that he'd probably be just fine. But it I couldn't shake that look of terror in the mother's eyes and her faith in me as she handed me her child. I couldn't shake the smell of the shampoo in their hair or get the image of him closing his eyes on me out of my head.
In that moment in the elevator where I was mentally preparing myself to walk into whatever was waiting for me in that lobby, I couldn't help but say a silent prayer of thanks for my training. I was so thankful for all the times my professors and mentors drilled into me how to act quickly, how to be logical and calm those around me, and how to keep my cool regardless of how I feel inside. All the times we used to complain in class when we had to practice infant emergency response saying that I'd never be working with babies so it didn't matter, I can't begin to describe how grateful I am for now. Luckily for me, there wasn't much I could do except for just be there for the mom, but thanks to WSU ATEP I was prepared to act in case something changed. I was also so thankful I had such great people there to support me who were 100% ready to step in if I needed them.
The next morning I went to the front desk to see if they could tell me what happened to the child and the hotel manager had left a letter for me.
Basically all I can say is that my world changed a little bit after that. Things are a little askew, or maybe a little more on track, I'm not sure which. Regardless, it reminded me to be thankful, appreciate the moment, and to focus on what matters. All the extra stuff? That's all it is; extra.
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